WHY THE HECK AM I HERE FOR? this week’s blog is a chapter from my book: “This book is not for you – Purposely written for me, but may be life changing for you.
So really! Why are we here? What is our purpose here? Those questions kept resonating in my head and the more I would ask, the more I would get confused and depressed. Do any of you out there have or had those same feelings? This chapter will deal more with the why and we’ll investigate the “depressed” later in another chapter. However, I have always felt the need to know why. Why can’t we get along? Why is the world in such a bad state? Why does she treat me that way? So, I have always been on a quest. I’ll start around 2005 because I feel this is where I really truly started to be enlightened.
Here I am, out of a job, on Employment Insurance and nowhere to go, again. Feeling empty, not feeling useful, still searching what the heck I should do to make me feel good inside. A friend of mine suggested that I get evaluated, tested, to see what my strengths were, so that it would help me determine what I should do in life.
So here I go, to this special governmental office, to get tested. Well, that didn’t really turn out like I hoped for since the two strengths that came out strong were teaching, and working in the healthcare profession. How did that turn out this way? The lady that had given me the test started asking questions and soon found out that I had some kind of inclination towards natural health. Why not? Always wanted to know why I was sick and others weren’t. Always wanted to know more about the human body. But don’t put me in a situation where I would have to give a needle to someone. Just the thought of it makes me all dizzy.
Teaching? No way. Put me in a class full of kids that misbehave and I surely wouldn’t last a week. However, I always enjoyed teaching adults that wanted to learn. When I was a District Manager for Avon, I really enjoyed the part where I would help them go through the six-level training, and see them evolve into a better person mentally and emotionally. So maybe this test wasn’t that bad after all.
So, I finally found an institution that would allow me to learn online and started a one year training course as a Natural Health Practitioner.
The first two months were hell on earth. Here I am, 47 year old, trying to get something in that stubborn head of mine. I couldn’t read a sentence without either looking in a Thesaurus or the medical dictionary, trying to understand what I was reading about. I then started to think that I had made a huge mistake and decided to talk about this to my teacher. She encouraged me saying that I was on the right track, wasn’t behind and said something to me that only resonated with me just a few months ago:
“Give some time for your brain to adjust with the changes”.
So back to the books I went to. This was fascinating! I then enjoyed each sentence as if it was a new world I was getting into. Still to this day I find the human body fascinating and full of miracles.
This course not only made me acquire more knowledge, but also saved my life. At that time, I was going the wrong path in dealing with my health and I was very sick. Maybe not sick enough for the regular doctors but nevertheless not on the right path. We’ll talk more about healthy bodies in the coming chapters.
Still that little voice inside of me was tugging at my heart saying: “Why are you here, Carole? Who are you, really?” But little did I know I was going to start a new path just around the corner.
The year passed and I got my certificate. During that year, I got to know new people and I was introduced to Randy Gage⁵. If any of you like inspirational speakers, you will find Mr. Gage is very different. Even though he tells you “Why you’re dumb, sick and broke ⁶” – the title of one of his books by the way – I enjoyed everything he has written and still follow his blog.
I also got to know lots of new people. I met this guy online who came from Trois-Rivières, Quebec. Even though I didn’t meet him in person, we chatted every day for a while and exchanged ideas. One day, he told me that he had received a DVD and since it was all in English and he was very French, he asked me for my address so he could send it to me.
So, it had been about three weeks, and still haven’t received it, I asked him if he had sent it. He answered positively. Meanwhile, I received an email from Randy Gage, telling me that I should be on the lookout next Monday for an extraordinary event that will change my life. I didn’t make much of it all at that time, but the next Monday before opening Randy’s email, I received the DVD from my friend. It was called “The Secret ⁷”. Just holding it gave me my first set of goosebumps. That was very weird for me at that time, but now I know that when it happens, something good will manifest just around the corner.
I went upstairs – my office was in the basement – and sat down to not only a DVD but a life changing event. The way the DVD starts was everything I could feel and live at that time. My life was in shambles, my dad – my best friend ever – had died, my job wasn’t even working as it was planned. I was crying in the first few minutes of that movie. It changed my whole way of looking at everything. It’s all about “FEELING GOOD”.
It took me a while to understand that when you are asking yourself that question “Why the heck am I here for?” at this point you need to start something new and exciting. That is what you are here for: finding things that are going to make you “FEEL GOOD”. I like this quote:
If you are not happy where you are, move! You are not a tree.
Learn to paint, learn to speak Spanish, or join a yoga class. You don’t have money? Go for a walk, swim in the ocean, or meet new people. Find something or someone that will make you “FEEL GOOD”. These are the words that Rhonda Byrne⁸ – author of “The Secret” – wrote in the sand at the end of the movie. Here is the “catch 22”: As your thoughts wonder, you tend to forget to “FEEL GOOD”. Almost like the waves of the ocean tend to erase that “FEEL GOOD” scripture in the sand. So you need to remind yourself often, or rewrite the “FEEL GOOD” in the sand.
“FEEL GOOD” would be your second statement that you should plaster your house, car and even office at work with. So that you do not forget!
So, what are we here for? To “FEEL GOOD”.
Took me almost 12 years to understand that affirmations do work. I finally decided to write this book because I need to remind myself of this every time I feel down. Later in the book I will explain why we tend to forget. It is imperative that you remind yourself over and over again.
The next step that I needed to understand was about those goosebumps. Why was it that I had those goosebumps just by holding a book, a DVD or just passing by a shelf full of books?
Oh! And by the way! Randy’s email was just one of his ways to get us excited or curious about his next move. Still does it in all kinds of different ways… lol.
You can view Session 2 of my FEEL GOOD WEBINAR. It’s all about finding ways to valorize yourself!
See you next week!
